


Chasing Minori

by LittleMissSunshine



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Related, Childhood Friends, Closure, Fate & Destiny, Father-Son Relationship, Free! Kink Meme, Friendship, Gen, I don't even know how to tag this, Light Angst, Nostalgia, Personal Growth, Rin's Issues, Team Dynamics, Team Feels, sort of, what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-20
Packaged: 2018-01-11 00:38:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1166524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissSunshine/pseuds/LittleMissSunshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin decides to track down the members of his father's old relay team, so that he can figure out some things and (hopefully) gain some closure.<br/>Along the way, he finds out that there are far more threads connecting him to his old Iwatobi team than he'd ever imagined.</p><p>Written for the Free! Kink Meme. (<a href="http://iwatobiswimclub.dreamwidth.org/1985.html?thread=2603457">Original prompt here</a>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ground Zero, Square One

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so, so much, Anonymous Poster, for this wonderful prompt. I can only hope that this fic does your idea justice.  
> Please forgive my creative liberties, and don't ask me where this "goes" in relation to the canon story. It's kind of parallel to it, in a way... Just go with it. ;)  
> Anyway, I'll shut up now. Hope you enjoy!

"You're still looking through that box of your dad's old things?"

Eleven-year-old Rin looked up from the photograph in his hands.  He'd been staring at this particular photo for almost five minutes.  His mother sat down lightly on the bed beside him.  Her beautiful red hair was pulled back in a clip, but a few strands fell down around her face.  Rin turned his attention back to the photograph.

"You know, that's your dad, when he was just a little older than you," his mother said with a tiny smile, pointing out the dark-haired boy holding the dolphin trophy.  "This must be from some relay he won, back when he went to school in Iwatobi." She wrapped her arm around him, and gave his little shoulder a gentle, loving squeeze. "Before you came along, he was quite the swimmer.  He won a lot of medals when he was young…they're probably in this box, too.  I know he kept a lot of them. His big dream was to swim in the Olympics, did you know that?"

Rin shook his head.  He'd known that his dad had liked to swim, but he hadn't known that.

"Of course, when you were born, he gave all that up, to be your dad," his mother continued, kissing him on the forehead.

"So, he never went to the Olympics, then?," he asked quietly.

"No, sweetheart," his mother replied.  "He became a fisherman instead."

The more Rin thought about it, the more awful it sounded: trading national glory for _that?_   He looked down at the photo in his hands again: his dad looked so happy.  He couldn't have known the reality of the future that awaited him. Trading medal prospects for a wife and kid, and giving up his one true passion for long, hard days at sea?  No: the joyful face in that photo obviously knew nothing of what his life would become, and how far from that dream he would fall.  A bit of guilt began to congeal in the pit of Rin's stomach.  Now, it was too late, for his dad to pursue that dream.  His dad would never be able to find that special happiness again.

_If it weren't for me…he could have._

Rin felt a sick sadness awaken inside him as he stared down at his dad's triumphant young face.  _If I hadn't been born, he wouldn't have had to settle for being a fisherman_ , he thought.  _He wouldn't have died out on the water, away from us, away from his dream…_   Then, another thought struck him, colder than the first: _If I hadn't been born, he wouldn't have died at all._   Inside, he began to tremble, but he didn't let any of the remorse show on his face.  _He would still be alive.  Maybe even still swimming._

"I can't believe he kept this picture for so many years," his mother said, looking at the picture again.  "They must have been something really special."

Rin pondered the photo, silently growing sadder in his private guilt.  When he didn't respond, his mother playfully ruffled the hair on the back of his head.  "Come on, sweetheart, it's time for dinner," she said, smiling.  "You can look at these more later."  Rin reluctantly set the photograph aside, leaving it face up on his sheets as he followed his mother out.

\-------

Six years later, Rin was looking at that photograph again.  The original one had gotten lost: he'd carried it around for a while before losing it to a stray gust of wind in Australia.  The last time he'd seen it, it had been flying upward into the sky, forever out of his reach.  But when he visited the old swim club, to dig up the trophy they'd won all those years ago….there it was, hanging on the wall.  It wasn't the exact same picture, of course: it had been taken from a slightly different angle, as though from a different camera.  But it was the same moment.  He'd forgotten, that the swim club had a picture too. When he noticed it there on the wall, he looked at it for a long time.  Eventually, he just decided to take it for himself.  He slipped it out of the frame and tucked it carefully into his coat.  He'd kept it with him ever since.

He was contemplating it again one evening, in the dim light of his silent dorm room.  He wondered what had been so special, about this team.  His father's teammates.  There had to have been some sort of…something.  Rin couldn't quite articulate the thought, but this photo seemed symbolic of something.  Something that his father had had, but that he himself was still lacking. This photo was what had led him to transfer to Iwatobi, just months before graduation: he'd believed that by retracing his father's steps and competing in the relay there, he would put himself on the right path, and eventually be able to do the things that his father had never gotten a chance to do. But somewhere, it seemed, he'd missed a step, or taken a wrong turn.  They'd both won a relay at Iwatobi, but somehow, it hadn't ended up giving Rin whatever it had given his father.  It certainly hadn't improved his swimming any, or brought him any closer to winning Olympic gold. He'd done everything he could think of, but no matter what, it just wasn't enough. There was still something holding him back, making it impossible for him to reach his father's level and truly share his father's dream.

_What am I missing, Dad?_

When no answer came to him, his thoughts turned to his father's teammates again. _They'd probably know._ _They won that race together, so they must have been a pretty great team._ That was what he'd thought when he was a kid, and the thought crossed his mind again.  _I bet they were all great swimmers, just like he was._

 _But what was it that made them all so great?_   More than ever before, he needed to know.  _What were they like?_

_...I wonder if they shared his dream, too._

_Maybe.  
_

... _You know,_ _I bet they could tell me how to reach my father's dream._ One _of them would know what to do._   He stared at the photo a little more, half-heartedly trying to puzzle out the secrets behind their happy expressions.

 _They would still be alive somewhere_ , he realized suddenly.  _My father's teammates._   These people who'd known his father better than anyone…they were walking around somewhere, right at this very moment.  They were _real._   They could tell him everything, if he could find out who they were.

_But how?_

He racked his brain for a moment before remembering the old swim club at Iwatobi.  The picture of his dad's team had been on that wall: perhaps their names had been, too.

_But that got torn down._

Rin's heart sank again when he remembered.  He tried to picture the wall in his head, but he couldn't quite do it.  There had been some kind of writing beneath the photo…he wished he'd looked a little closer.  He was pretty sure that it hadn't said their names, but now, he wished that he could go back, just to make sure.

Disappointed, he quickly tried to think of something else.  _Who might know who they are?_   His mother wouldn't know: she'd admitted before that she didn't know much about his father's old swimming days.  His paternal grandparents had died long before he was born.  Suddenly, it hit him.  It was so obvious: his old Iwatobi swim coach, Goro Sasabe.  He'd been on the Iwatobi team, when he was young: he would remember them for sure.  Suddenly, Rin had to see him.  Now that the idea was in his mind, there was no way that he wait another day, another moment, even.  He had to know now.

Before he had time to second-guess himself, he left Samezuka and boarded a train to Iwatobi.  He knew the place where Sasabe worked: he'd almost run into the old swim coach there, the one time he'd gone out to eat pizza with Gou.  He hadn't wanted to talk to his old coach then, so he'd ducked behind a plant, but now, he just hoped that Sasabe would be working there tonight.

He practically ran down the street where the pizza place was located.  He was in such a hurry that he didn't notice a delivery scooter jetting past him, going the opposite direction.  He burst in through the restaurant's doors and went running right up to the counter.

"Hello, may I help you?," the young woman behind it asked.  She wore her hair up in a high ponytail, and she smiled at him as he caught his breath.  Her nametag read "Ayame."

"Is Coach Sasabe working here tonight?," he panted.

The woman tilted her head.  "You mean Goro Sasabe?," she asked with a delicate laugh.

"Yes, that's who I meant," Rin growled, slightly embarrassed.  "Is he here tonight?"

"He's working, but he isn't here," she replied.  "He just went out to make a delivery."

"Do you know when he's coming back?"

Ayame shrugged.  "I'm not sure how many pizzas he had to deliver."  She started to look a little concerned.  "Is it an emergency?," she asked kindly.  "Because I can call him back, if it's an emergency."

Rin's cheeks flushed a little.  "No, it's not really an emergency," he mumbled, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably.  "Uh…maybe I'll just…wait here…"

"He gets off at eight," Ayame said with a little smile.  "You can wait in one of the booths over there.  I'll tell him to meet you on his way out."

"Ok.  Uh, thanks," Rin said, feeling even more embarrassed.  He quickly slunk over to a booth in the corner and waited, staring out the window.  After a while, Ayame brought him a glass of water.  He nodded to her and turned his attention back to the window.  He began to space out, thinking of his father.  He watched the people walking by outside and began to wonder if any of them could be his father's teammates.

"Rin Matsuoka?"  Rin turned, startled, as Coach Sasabe slid into the seat across from him.  The old swim captain chuckled, seeing Rin's shocked expression.  "Don't look at me like that, you're the one who showed up unexpectedly," he said in his playful, booming voice.  "How've you been?  You've grown so much, since I saw you last!"

Rin looked down at his glass.  Suddenly, this felt like a stupid idea.

"Still swimming?," the coach asked.  "Makoto told me you go to Samezuka now.  They've got a big team, right?"

"Yeah," Rin replied quietly.  He wasn't in much of a mood to give the coach a run-down of his life.  He was sick of thinking about his life: whenever he did, all he could think of was how far he still had to go.  It was his father's life he wanted to talk about.

Sasabe seemed to read his mood and decided to get down to business.  "Well, I guess you probably didn't come running down here just to give me an update," he chuckled.  "So, what are you here for?  I assume there's a reason."

Rin nodded.  "I wanted to ask you something," he said, feeling oddly embarrassed.  "Um…did you know my father, when he was on the Iwatobi team?  Minori Matsuoka?"

The coach looked baffled for a moment before letting out a hearty laugh.  "How old do you think I am, Rin?," he said jovially.  Rin's ears began to burn.  "No, your father was quite a few years ahead of me in school," the coach went on.  "I did hear tales about him, but that's about all."

"Oh."  Rin looked away.  "Then…maybe this was a waste of time."

"Why do you ask?," the coach said.  "What are you looking for?"

Rin hesitantly pulled the photo out of his jacket pocket.  "I wanted to know who these guys are," he said quietly.  "This was my dad's relay team, back when he swam for Iwatobi."  He pointed to the boy on the middle right, holding the trophy.  "I know that's my dad, but…I don't know who any of the others are.  I guess I was hoping you would know.  For some reason, I thought…"  He trailed off.  "Never mind.  It was stupid, anyway."

"Well, wait a minute now," the coach said, pulling the photo toward him.  "Let me see that."  He lifted it up and peered at it, examining the faces of the boys in the photo.  "You know, I think I recognize this guy on the right," he said, squinting slightly.  "I think he came back to visit the team once, when I was on it."  He looked a little closer.  "Yeah," he said, sounding a little more sure.  "That's Hinata Hazuki!  I remember now.  He actually came back and coached my elementary school team for a bit, when our regular coach had to take a leave of absence.  He was great, really friendly."

"Hazuki?"  Rin was surprised to hear the name.  "That's Nagisa's family name, isn't it?"

The coach nodded, then stopped to think.  "You know, I've never thought about it before," he said.  "I bet they're related."

Rin pondered this possibility in silence.  The boy in the photo _did_ sort of resemble Nagisa.  _What are the odds, that they would have raced together?_

"I never met these other guys, so I can't tell you what their names are, but I know for a fact that that's Hinata Hazuki," the coach said, sounding more and more confident of his identification each time he made it.  "He still lives around here somewhere, I think.  I'll see if I can track him down for you."

Rin's eyes glimmered quietly.  "You'd do that?," he asked.

The coach guffawed lightly.  "Why not?," he said.  "I know I wasn’t your coach for that long, but you were still part of my team.  Besides, I wouldn't mind seeing him again.  It's no trouble.  I'll see if I can find him and set up a meeting."  He paused a moment and looked at Rin.  "I mean, I assume you're asking about him because you want to talk to him about…something.  That _is_ why you're asking, isn't it?"

Rin nodded.

"Then I'll arrange it," the coach repeated confidently.  "When I find him, I'll let you know."

Rin gave Sasabe his phone number and got up.  "Thanks," he said simply, giving the coach a nod before heading out the door.  On the train ride home, he stared at the floor in a daze.  He hadn't expected the former swim coach to help him out so easily, and so…quickly.  Suddenly, everything seemed to have sped up.  He'd assumed that it would take weeks, maybe even months, to track down the guys in the photo, but now, all of a sudden, he had a real, solid lead.  Depending on how fast Coach Sasabe worked, he could be meeting Hinata Hazuki… _tomorrow_ , almost.  The thought both excited and scared him.

 _Just wait_ , he told himself.  _Don't get all worked up over nothing right now.  Just wait and see_.  But it was hard for him to stop the nerves from rising in his stomach, and keep the butterflies from fluttering in his heart.  He kept wondering what Hinata might have to say about his dad.  He'd never really talked to anyone about his dad before: his mom had given him a few details here and there, but he'd always been afraid to ask for all the information he really craved.  He'd _never_ spoken to anyone who'd known his father before marriage, before he'd given up the Olympic dream.

Suddenly, a frightening thought struck him: _what if the Iwatobi relay never really meant anything at all?_ What if these men had been put together by random chance, and never really gotten all that close?  What if Hinata didn't remember his dad, or any of the other men in the photo?

What if, in the end, they'd all meant nothing to one another? 

His stomach began to seize up with anxiety.  Any hope he had of learning about his dad rested with the men in the photo: what if they couldn't tell him anything?  What if they didn't have the answers? 

What if there had never been anything special about this team in the first place?  What if they were just ordinary guys, and there _were_ no answers?

These thoughts were what finally pushed him over the edge.  Up until now, he'd been able to make his own assumptions about this photo, about his dad and the old relay team.  He'd been able to tell himself that they all knew something he obviously didn't.  Now, he was going to find out the truth: he didn't know what he would do, if it didn't turn out to be the truth he wanted.  As embarrassing as it was, a few tears began slipping down his cheeks in the middle of the train car.  He needed for there to be answers. If there weren't...

To reassure himself, he took the picture out again.  _There had to have been something special there_ , he thought.  He looked at the way they smiled, the way they were laughing with one another… _they had to have had some kind of special bond.  They would remember each other.  You can't just forget something like this…can you?_   By this time, his dad's team wasn't the only team he was thinking about.

 _This...it can't all be meaningless_ , he thought finally.  More tears welled up in his eyes, but he didn't let them fall.  _It just can't._

\----------

It was about a week later when Sasabe gave him a call.

"I talked to Hinata Hazuki," the old coach said.  "Actually, it was kind of funny: he ordered a pizza from me a couple of days ago.  I rang the doorbell, and there he was!  I couldn't believe it.  He hasn't changed much at all.  Anyway, he said he'd love to meet you for coffee tomorrow.  One o'clock at the Corner Café, it's right down the street from where I work.  That ok with you?"

"Yeah," Rin replied.  "That's fine."  He felt the nerves rising in his stomach again.  "Thanks."

The coach laughed.  "No problem," he said.  "It was literally no trouble.  I hope you find what you're looking for."  He hung up, and Rin looked at his phone for a moment before setting it down.  _This is it_ , he thought.  _Tomorrow is the moment of truth._


	2. The Penguin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rin meets Hinata Hazuki and learns that his father was everything he's not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hinata - A unisex name meaning 'sunflower' or 'one who faces the sun'

The next day, at precisely 12:47pm, Rin arrived at the Corner Café.  He looked around, and quickly realized that he had no idea what Hinata Hazuki looked like as an adult.  He surreptitiously pulled the photo out of his jacket and glanced around, looking for anyone who bore the slightest resemblance to the young man Coach Sasabe had pointed out.  He didn't see anyone.  There were only two men sitting alone: one was far too old, and the other looked nothing like the boy in the photo.  Rin took a seat in a table near the window and waited.  His leg began to move anxiously, bouncing up and down.  He kept looking around, then looking at the clock.  It seemed to take an hour for those thirteen minutes to pass.  A waitress came over, and he ordered a hot chocolate: he liked coffee, but he didn't need to be more on edge than he already was.

He waited twenty minutes, but no one showed up.  He began to wonder how long he should wait.  A part of him wanted to run away as fast as possible, but another part wanted to wait there until the café closed.  As it was, he just sat there, sipping his hot cocoa and vibrating in place.

He nearly dropped his mug when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh!  I'm sorry.  Didn't mean to startle you."  Rin turned and saw a short, somewhat chubby man standing behind him.  The man had richly-colored auburn hair, and golden, honey-brown eyes.  Everything about him seemed to contain a hint of gold: his skin tone, his hair, even his smile, though his teeth were sparkling white.  He smiled just like Nagisa, with cheerfulness and unmistakable honesty.

"You're Rin Matsuoka, right?," he said.  "The one Sasabe told me about?"

Rin stood up quickly, bumping his thigh against the sharp corner of the table.  "Y-yes," he stammered, suddenly unable to control his nerves.  "That's me."

The older man chuckled.  "Hinata Hazuki," he said, holding out his hand.  "Call me Hinata. Hazuki-san's my father."

"Uh…" Rin shook the man's outstretched hand.  "Ok.  Um…it's an honor to meet you, Ha-…Hinata-san."

"Come on, sit down, sit down," Hinata said, taking a seat across from Rin.  He called the waitress over.  "One spiced apple latte, please," he ordered with a charming grin.  "And another of whatever he's been having."  The waitress nodded and went to fix the drinks.

The red-haired boy felt oddly overwhelmed by the older man's personality: he'd thought up a list of questions to ask in advance, but he couldn't seem to remember a single one.  Luckily, Hinata seemed all too eager to take up the conversation.  "Sasabe told me you once swam in a relay with my son, Nagisa," he began when Rin didn't say anything.  "Is that true?"

Rin nodded.  "In my last year of elementary," he replied.  "Right before I went to Australia, to study swimming."

"Australia?"

Rin nodded.  "I wanted to train for the Olympics," he said quietly.  "Just like my dad.  Minori Matsuoka."  He looked up at the older man.  "Do you remember him at all?"

"Oh yeah, of course I do!," Hinata replied enthusiastically.  "So you're really Minori Matsuoka's son, huh?," he went on, looking genuinely interested in Rin's response.  Rin nodded.  "Gosh, he was great," the older man said, looking up at the sky to reminisce.  "I haven't thought about him in the longest time.  Yeah, he was one spectacular guy.  'Talented' doesn't even _begin_ to describe his swimming."  He looked back at Rin.  "Of course, I'm sure you know all the stories," he said with a grin.  "You must've grown up hearing all about him."

Rin looked down awkwardly.  "Actually…he died when I was pretty young," he said.  "So…I never really got to hear many stories."

"AhhHa!," Hinata exclaimed with a knowing grin.  "And you were hoping I could fill you in, is that it?"  The waitress came over and quietly put their drinks on the table.

"Um…kind of, yeah," Rin said, taking his new hot chocolate and cupping it in his hands.  "I was just sort of hoping…I mean, I know that you guys were teammates at Iwatobi…"  Hinata was leaning forward, listening to Rin's every word.  "I just wanted to know…what it was like," the red-haired boy finished.  "What _he_ was like."

When it was apparent that Rin was done speaking, Hinata launched into a story.  "Well, let me just start by saying that your father was far and away one of the best swimmers I've ever seen.  He could win medals in just about any stroke you could name.  He did 'em all.  He always favored butterfly, though: I was a breaststroke man, myself, but man, the way he flew through the water…unmatched.  We all thought for sure he'd be going to the Olympics, although I guess he never did.  I was really sorry, to hear that he died before he could get there."  He paused, suddenly changing the topic.  "Do you swim?," he asked.

Rin nodded.  "Butterfly's my specialty, too," he murmured, knowing that the older man was about to ask.

Hinata smiled.  "Carrying on the Matsuoka tradition!," he said.  "And I bet you're one of the best at your school, too!"

Rin shrugged.  "I'm ok," he said quietly.  "There are people who are better."  _I'm not as good as he was._

Hinata chuckled.  "You don't have to be modest," he said.  "I'm sure you're a top swimmer."  Rin didn't want to say anything in reply: luckily, Hinata changed the subject.

"Anyway, your father was amazing," he said.  "He was winning races against guys who were two grades ahead of him.  He placed in national competitions regularly.  You know, I don't think I ever saw him leave a meet without at least one medal around his neck."  Hinata shook his head in amazement.  "And he wasn't just fast: he had such style, too.  It was like, when he raced, everyone's eyes were drawn to him.  It was magnetic.  He was a total natural."

Rin felt himself being drawn into Hinata's tales.  He could imagine his father like that, a champion among champions.  He could imagine that same boy from the relay photo, posing triumphantly with huge trophies and endless medals around his neck.  He felt a little proud, that this man was his father, but any pride he might have taken in his father's achievements was quickly overshadowed by an overwhelming awareness of his own failures.  He stared down into his hot chocolate.  He wished he could be half the swimmer his father had been.

"I was a grade below him, so I didn't get to spend much time with him outside of practice," Hinata went on.  "But from what I could tell, he was a pretty nice guy.  A little cocky, maybe, but I think anyone with talent like his would be.  He wasn't completely stuck up, like some of the other guys.  He invited me to a meal after we won the relay."  He smiled fondly.  "I'll never forget the time he let me swim in that relay with him.  It was like a dream come true for me, at that age."  Rin's ears perked up a little.  Carefully, he pulled out the picture: he was about to ask a question when Hinata interjected, excitement in his voice.

"Hey, is that from our old relay?," he asked.  "Can I see it?"

"Sure," Rin said, pushing it across the table.  Hinata picked it up carefully, so as not to wrinkle it.

"Wow," he murmured.  A little light glimmered in his eyes.  "This was so long ago," he said fondly.  "I never thought I'd see this picture again."

"Can you tell me about that relay?," Rin asked quietly.

Hinata smiled a little as he gazed at the photo.  "It was amazing," he said.  "It was like…we were working _perfectly_ together.  We were all just perfectly in sync."  He looked at Rin.  "You've been on a relay team, right?," he said.  Rin nodded.  "Well, then, you know," he said with a grin.  Rin nodded again: he remembered.  It was a feeling like no other.

"I swam the breaststroke lap, and of course, your father swam fly," Hinata said.  "This guy, Akira Nanase…Aki, we used to call him.  He was amazing, too.  Right up there with your dad.  They were best friends, I think."  Rin's eyes widened as the older man pointed to the boy in the left middle.  The boy was laughing, his hand resting on Rin's father's shoulder.  "He swam free," Hinata continued, not noticing Rin's reaction to the name.  "And then this fellow…you know, I can't quite remember his name.  Hotaru something…?  No, that isn't it.  Jeez, it's been so long."  Hinata thought for a moment, but couldn't seem to place the name.  "In any case, he swam the backstroke part," he finished.  "Together, we couldn't be beat.  This was the first relay we won together, the prefectural one.  We won the regional relay after that, and we came in third on the national level.  Unfortunately, I moved away after that year, so we never got a chance to try it again."

"What happened after you moved?," Rin asked.  "Did you guys ever get to swim together again?"

Hinata shook his head.  "No, my new school didn't have a team," he said with a sigh.  "I didn't get to swim in any tournaments after that."

"Did you _ever_ see them again, then?  After you moved?"

"No," Hinata said with another shake of his head.  "We just kind of lost contact after that, for a lot of reasons.  I was far away, I was younger than the rest of them, I'd stopped swimming…we were kids, things like that just happen.  But I'll never forget your dad, or that relay."

Rin took this in for a moment.  "So…you said this guy's name was Akira Nanase?," he asked, pointing to the boy on the middle left.  Hinata answered affirmatively.  "Do you know what happened to him?," Rin asked.

Hinata shook his head.  "I'm afraid not," he said.  "I don't know what happened to any of them: I wish I did.  I only heard about your father's death from an article in the newspaper."  He looked truly regretful.  "I'm sorry I can't tell you more."

"It's ok," Rin replied quietly.  By now, his hot chocolate had gone cold: he'd practically forgotten it was there.  "I understand."

"Anything else you wanted to ask me?," Hinata asked kindly.

Rin shook his head.  "I think you've told me everything you can," he said.  "Thanks, for meeting me."

Hinata's face lit up in a smile.  "Of course," he said.  "Anything, for Minori Matsuoka's son."  His voice became even more sincere.  "I really looked up to your father," he said, patting Rin on the shoulder.  "He was a good guy."  Rin nodded, looking away.

"I guess I'll be off, then," Hinata said.  "But really, feel free to call me if you need anything else, or think of more questions.  I'm happy to help."  He scribbled his phone number on the back of a napkin and gave Rin one last smile.  "Good luck with your swimming, by the way," he said as he left money on the table for their drinks.  "I bet you'll be great one day, just like your dad."  Rin put a smile on his face, but it faded as soon as Hinata left.  Hearing the older man talk about his dad, and how great he'd been…  It only served to throw his own inadequacies into sharp relief.  He was obviously nowhere near as talented as his father.  He'd worked his ass off for five years, but he still couldn't swim the way he wanted to, the way his father had.  Hinata hadn't given him any hints as to what he might be lacking.

He got up and left the coffee shop, lost in thought.  _What if I can never be like him, and achieve his dream?_   This idea kept drifting through his mind as he stared at the pavement.  _What if I'm just not good enough, and that's that?_

He felt tears threatening his eyes, so he tried to distract himself by thinking of his father's second teammate, Akira Nanase.  He had to be related to Haru in some way, either his father or an uncle: there wouldn't be another unrelated Nanase running around in Iwatobi.  It was such an odd coincidence, though.  First Nagisa's father, now someone with the last name Nanase?  It was almost unbelievable.

When he got back to his dorm room, he immediately opened up his laptop and searched the name "Akira Nanase."  He hoped that the man was famous enough to come up on an internet search: otherwise, he wasn't sure what he would do.  As he scrolled through the results, he began to wish that he knew more about Haru's parents.  He knew that Haru lived alone now, but he wasn't entirely sure where the black-haired boy's parents had gone.  There were quite a few Akira Nanases living in Japan, and it would have helped to be able to narrow it down.  A city, a company…anything would have helped.

He decided to start from the beginning: the one thing he knew about Akira Nanase was that, at one time, he had lived in Iwatobi.  He typed in Iwatobi after the man's name and searched again: now, there weren't _any_ results.  Annoyed, Rin sat back at his desk, trying to figure out what else he could try.  He knew that the easiest way would be to just ask Haru, but he couldn't bring himself to do that.  He needed to figure this out on his own.

Finally, he decided to give Coach Sasabe another call.  The coach answered on the second ring.

"What's up?," he asked.  "Did you meet with Hinata-san?"

Rin nodded.  "Yeah," he said.  "It was…interesting."

Sasabe laughed.  "He's a fun guy, right?," he said jovially.  "You can see where Nagisa gets it from."

"Hm," Rin quietly agreed.  "Uh…he told me that one of the other members on his old relay time was Akira Nanase."  He mentioned the name carefully, hoping that it would trigger something in Sasabe's brain.

"Akira Nanase?"  The coach pondered this for a moment.  "Well, that's Haru's father, isn't it?," he said curiously.  "I think I met him once.  The one time he ever came to a meet, back when Haru was just a kid."

Rin's ears perked up.  "Do you…know anything about him?," he asked quietly.  "Where he works, where he lives now?"

Sasabe's end of the line went quiet for a moment as he thought.  "He was some sort of president or something," he said.  "I think he said he worked in Kobe?  I don't know where he is now, though."

Rin nodded: it was something, anyway.  "Ok, thanks," he said, hanging up.  He immediately pulled up the internet again and searched for "Akira Nanase, Kobe."

He clicked through the first few, but they were either girls, too young, or too old.  The seventh result down seemed promising, though.  It was a short career profile of a man in upper management at a large company, some sort of senior vice president.  The company, Yamada Technologies, seemed to make all sorts of things, mainly related to computers and computer software.  The profile said that Akira Nanase had worked as a manager of the branch in Tottori, which was a larger city about an hour away from Iwatobi.  He was then promoted to a position in Kobe: now, he worked for the company's main offices in Kyoto.  What caught Rin's attention were the dates of his employment: he'd gotten the job in Tottori about 12 years ago, when Haru would have been five.  Tottori wasn't too far away, so he could easily have worked there while living in Iwatobi.  He'd left Tottori for Kobe about three years after that: then,  right around the time that Haru would have been starting high school, he'd been moved up to his current position in Kyoto.  It would have made sense, for him and his wife to move then.  While he was working in Kobe, he probably would have been able to come home and see his family on the weekends, but Kyoto would have been too far away for anything more frequent than visits on holidays.  By that time, Haru would have been old enough to leave behind.  Rin realized that he was making a lot of assumptions, and that the link was tenuous at best, but…something about this man seemed promising.  Instinctively, Rin knew that this was him.

He clicked through the website until he found the address of the office in Kyoto.  He was jotting it down on a little piece of scratch paper as Nitori walked in the door.

"Hey, senpai!," the younger boy greeted him with a smile.  "I haven't seen you much today.  Did you have a good day?"

Rin ignored Nitori's question: a plan was forming in his mind.  "Nitori…will you go to the school office tomorrow morning and tell them that I'm sick?," he asked.

Nitori immediately looked concerned.  "Are you feeling ill, senpai?," he asked, genuine worry obvious in his tone.

Rin sighed.  "No, no, I'm fine," he said.  "But I need you to _tell_ them that I'm sick.  Tell them not to expect me in class tomorrow."

"Oh."  Nitori looked a little confused.  "Why do you need me to do that?," he asked.

"There's somewhere I need to go tomorrow.  Somewhere far."


	3. The Dolphin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rin meets Akira Nanase and has a major realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akira - A unisex name meaning "bright" or "clear"

Rin stopped in front of a sleek twenty-story office building, looking down at the scrap of paper in his hands.  _26 Tanagawa Road_ , it read.  He checked his own handwriting against the plaque on the door; sure enough, this was the right address.  He felt out of place, walking into such a fancy office building with a casual black tank top on.  He wished he'd thought to wear something a little nicer.  Just inside the door was a well-decorated lobby, with a tall, slender woman sitting at the desk.  She was wearing a sleek blazer, and her hair was pulled back in an elegant bun.  She looked up and adjusted her glasses as he entered.

"Er…pardon me," Rin began awkwardly, stepping up to the desk.  "But…I'm here to see Akira Nanase?"

The woman eyed him suspiciously.  "Do you have an appointment with Nanase-san?"

"Er…no, but-"

"Then I'm sorry," she said with a pasted-on smile.  "He is working now, and only those with appointments may see him."

"But I came all the way from-"

"I'm terribly sorry," she cut him off again, "But it simply isn't possible."  She smiled that fake smile again.  "If you call ahead and make an appointment with him, I'm sure he'll be able to see you then.  As it is, there's nothing I can do.  I hope you have a pleasant day."

Rin scowled at her, but he turned and left the building.  _Now what?_   The sun was setting: it had taken him the better part of the day to get here and find the office building.  His fists tightened: he couldn't bring himself to just give up and go home.  _I'm not leaving this city until I talk to him._   He sat down on the steps of the building and waited.

It took hours, for Haru's father to come out of the building.  Rin scanned the faces of everyone who left, looking for anyone who bore the slightest resemblance to Haru or to the young man in the photograph.  The sky grew dark, and the sun set, but Rin refused to leave his spot.  Finally, a likely candidate pushed open the double glass doors, carrying a dark suitcase and wearing a black suit.  Everything about him looked a little sharp.  He had jet black hair, and his eyes were an elegant grey.  Something about the look of distant boredom in those eyes reminded Rin of Haru.

He got up just as the black-haired man turned to the left and headed down the street.  "Excuse me!," he called.  The man turned, a sharp glint in his slate-colored eyes.  That was when Rin knew for sure, that this was Haru's father.  They had the same glare.  "Excuse me," he repeated as he caught up with the man.  "But are you Akira Nanase?"

The man glared at him a little.  "Yes," he replied in a calm but annoyed tone.  "Do I know you?"

Rin quickly offered his hand.  "No, sir, we've never met.  My name is Rin Matsuoka.  I believe you knew my father?"

The man's eyes flashed again, and he frowned slightly.  "Matsuoka?," he repeated, the edge apparent in his voice.

"Yeah.  My father was Minori Matsuoka."

"And what does Minori Matsuoka's son want from _me?_ ," the man muttered.

Rin felt oddly intimidated by this man, but he pressed ahead with his mission.  "I was hoping I could ask you a few things, about my father," he said timidly.  "You see…he died, when I was young, so I never really got to know him…"

"Nori is dead?"  This simple fact seemed to change Akira's demeanor completely.  His harsh eyes softened, and a sadness as deep as the ocean filled their gaze.

"Yeah," Rin murmured.  "He died about twelve years ago, in a typhoon."

"Oh." Akira quickly turned away so that Rin couldn't see his eyes anymore.  "I'm sorry to hear that," he said quietly.  Cautiously, Rin approached him, and saw a silent tear glistening at the corner of his eye.  "I apologize," the older man said, quickly wiping the tear away.  "Nori and I didn't exactly leave things on a good note, the last time I saw him.  I regret it now.  We were very close, when we were younger.  But perhaps you know that already."  He turned his head to look at Rin; his eyes were still glimmering softly.  "That's why you're here, isn't it?  To ask me about Nori?"  Rin nodded quietly.  Akira regarded him for a moment, mulling things over.

"Come with me," he said finally.  "My house is only a fifteen minute walk from here.  My wife is expecting me for dinner, but there's always enough food for one more.  You can join us, and I'll tell you about Nori after we've eaten."

Rin was so shocked at the offer of hospitality that it took him a second to reply.  "Er…yeah, that would be great," he said finally.  "Thank you, Nanase-san."  Akira nodded and began walking again.  Rin followed him down the street and around a few corners.  Finally, the older man turned up the walk to a small two-story house.  There were a few ivy plants growing in the yard, but other than that, the house was plain, non-descript.  Rin followed Haru's father inside, respectfully taking off his shoes.  He could smell some sort of soup being prepared.

"Kazue, I've brought an unexpected guest," the older man called quietly.  "I hope that's all right."

"An unexpected guest?"  Within moments, a small, sparrow-like woman appeared from a doorway to the left of the hall.  She had long, dark brown hair, and eyes the color of water.  She was quite pretty, and bore more than a passing resemblance to Haru.  Rin could tell that she was Haru's biological mom.

"His name is Rin Matsuoka," Akira explained quietly.  "He's the son of an old friend.  I ran into him on my way home from work."

Kazue looked slightly confused, but she covered over it with a gentle smile.  She seemed used to entertaining her husband's unexpected guests.  "Well, there's plenty of food," she said in her soft voice.  "Matsuoka-san, you're welcome to join us."

"Thank you," Rin replied with a respectful little bow.  "Sorry for dropping in on you like this."

"Why don't you have seat in the dining room?," she said, motioning to a doorway directly across from the one she was standing in.  "We'll be eating shortly."  Rin nodded and followed her direction, taking a seat on a floor cushion beside the low dining table.  He looked awkwardly around the room, not knowing what to do with himself.  There weren't any pictures on the walls.  Out the window, he could see a little garden, with a row of flowers and a few leafy bushes.  There weren't any cats here, like there were in Iwatobi. 

After a few minutes, Haru's father returned, having swapped his suit for a more casual shirt and pants combination.  He looked out of place in such casual clothes, Rin thought.  The sharpness in his face was better suited to board rooms and business meetings, and to all the attire that went with them.  At the same time, Kazue came in with a large pot of stew.  She ladled out portions into three separate bowls and distributed them before sitting down to eat herself.  The three of them made pleasant conversation: Kazue asked Rin where he was from, how old he was, what he was doing in the city.  Rin answered all of her queries: Akira remained relatively silent throughout the meal.  When they were finished, Kazue cleared the bowls, and Akira stood up.

"We'll talk in the sitting room," he said, motioning for Rin to join him.  The red-haired boy stood up and followed him down the hall to a small room, which contained countless bookshelves, two chairs, and a couch.  Rin took a seat on the couch, while Akira selected the closest chair.  They were silent for a moment before the older man began to speak.

"So, you want to know about Nori," he murmured, his grey eyes glinting lightly as he said Rin's father's name.

Rin nodded.  "I was just sort of hoping that you could tell me…anything you remember, really," he said quietly.  "I know that the two of you were teammates, at Iwatobi.  I want to know what he was like back then."

A tiny smile played at the corner of Akira's lips, and he got a faraway look in his eye.  "I haven't thought about that in a long time," he said.  "We were best friends, back in the day.  We swam together all the time.  He dreamed of going to the Olympics: that was all he'd ever talk about.  In fact, he was so excited about it that for a while, I was going to go with him.  That was our plan, to swim on the Olympic team together.  He would make up all these training regimens, you know, trying to mimic what the Olympic athletes do, and I would train with him.  We were so caught up in that dream…we really thought that that was what we were going to do.  We thought we'd swim for the rest of our lives."

"Why did you guys want to go to the Olympics?," Rin asked.

Akira let out a tiny chuckle.  " _I_ wanted to because _he_ wanted to," he replied.  "His passion inspired me.  And he…I think he just loved the whole idea of it.  Of swimming for a career.  Of competing against the best athletes anywhere and coming out on top.  But he wanted all of us to do it with him.  He always said that we could be the best team the Olympics had ever seen, if we stuck together.  I was the only one who really bought into it, though.  I was the only one besides him who ever seriously considered it."

"Was he really as good as people say?," Rin asked curiously.  He had a feeling that Akira's answer would be less biased than Nagisa's father's had been.  "I mean…he would have had a real shot at making the Olympic team?"

"Oh, without a doubt," the older man replied.  "He was easily the best on the team.  The way he flew through the water with that butterfly stroke…"  A tiny smile appeared on his face as he reminisced.  "It was something," he finished.

Rin could only imagine.  He felt a little sad, that he'd never get to see his father in action.  "What stroke did you swim?," he asked quietly.

"Freestyle," Akira replied.  Rin nodded: somehow, he hadn't expected anything less.  "I could have gone to the Olympics, too," he added.  "I placed first in a national competition once."

"So why didn't you?," Rin asked.  From the sound of it, they'd both been poised to chase the Olympic dream, but something had stopped them.  Rin needed to know what that something was.

Akira smirked sadly to himself.  "Nori was always such an idealist: he really believed that it could happen.  For a while, I did too, but…I guess you could say that I became a realist long before he did.  When I asked my father's permission to start seriously training for the Olympics, he told me that it was stupid.  I was good at swimming, sure, but how long could I sustain a career like that?  Go to college and get a good job, he told me.  He was sure that that would lead me to a happier life in the long run."  His grey eyes clouded over with bitter regret.  "Eventually, he persuaded me to believe it, too," he continued.  "I stopped focusing on swimming and started prepping for the college entrance exams.  Our last year, I quit the swim team all together, to focus on my studies."  Something sad began to permeate his face, his voice.  "Nori was so mad, when I told him I was quitting," he murmured.  "He said that I was giving up too easily, and I called him naïve, told him that we never could have made it anyway.  I really believed it, too.  Looking back now, I can see that we could have, but at that time, I was so convinced, that it just wouldn't happen for us.  We had a huge argument, and never really spoke after that.  The last time I saw him was at graduation, and he didn't even look at me."  He looked Rin in the eye.  "He didn't ever make it to the Olympics, did he?," he said softly.  Rin shook his head.

"He gave up that dream when I was born," he murmured.  "He became a fisherman."

"Hm."  Akira pondered this a moment.  "You know, I always expected to see his name pop up someday, on the Olympic team," he murmured, sounding far away.  "I always watched for it.  I didn't believe in the dream for myself, but I always believed he'd make it."  He looked sad, to hear that his friend's dream had never come to pass.

"Maybe he was right," he went on quietly.  "I shouldn't have given up on our dream.  It's always easier to believe in something when you have someone else by your side believing in it, too.  Maybe we both could have made it, if I'd just kept believing in it with him."  A hint of guilt came into his eyes, but he quickly pushed it out again.  Rin pondered this statement in silence: he wondered if that might be what he was missing.  Maybe he needed someone to believe in the dream with him. Someone to help him believe that it was truly possible.

The next time Akira spoke, he'd recovered his normal tone.  "When I first got out of college and started working, I would stay up all night, wondering how life would have been if I'd gone to the Olympics with Nori instead.  I regretted taking the path I'd chosen.  But eventually I decided that it was pointless, to dwell on things like that.  There was nothing I could do to take back my decision.  I accepted the corporate life, got married, had a kid…the dream life, according to my father.  Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad life, but…it's not a particularly good life, either.  I don't really enjoy the work that I do, although I make a lot of money doing it.  I have to work such long hours that I barely get to see Kazue.  When they promoted me, they transferred me here, and I had to leave my son Haruka behind so he could finish school."  Rin startled at the sound of Haru's name: he'd almost forgotten, that the two of them were related.  Akira noticed the expression on Rin's face.  "Do you know Haruka?," he asked quietly.  "He would be your age.  He still goes to school in Iwatobi."

Rin hesitated a moment before nodding.  "We swam in a relay together, when we were twelve," he murmured.  He wasn't quite sure how to explain the present state of their friendship (if it could even be called that anymore).  "I left to train in Australia right after that, and we sort of…lost touch.  I only just came back this year, and I don't go to Iwatobi any more."

Akira's eyes were glimmering with interest again.  "You swam together in a relay?," he said with a little smile.  "What are the odds?"  He chuckled to himself.  "And you say you trained in Australia…for what, may I ask?"

"Swimming," Rin said, suddenly embarrassed.  "I want to be an Olympic swimmer, too.  Er…"  He hesitated.  "Well, I wanted to, anyway," he confessed.  "I kind of…quit, when I came back here."  For some reason, he felt safe, confessing this to Haru's father.  Akira would understand.  "I joined the team again, but…I still don't know, if this is really what I want."  He immediately felt bad, just saying it out loud.  "I mean, I want to follow in my dad's footsteps, and do what he didn't get a chance to do," he said quickly, "But I just…don't know if I can."  He got quiet again.

Akira looked at him for a moment.  "Are you swimming for your father, or are you swimming for yourself?," he asked.  "Think about it, before you answer."

Rin thought it over for a few minutes.  He was pretty sure he knew what the answer was, but it wasn't the answer he wanted to give.  He hated to admit that he'd only continued on this path to honor his father's memory.  He'd never been able to admit it to anyone, but sometimes, he felt that his heart wasn't in it at all.  He'd wanted to quit more times than he could count.  Sometimes, it felt as though the only thing keeping him in the pool was guilt, and the need to take up what his father had been forced to abandon.

But then, suddenly, he remembered the relay.  The way it had felt, to swim with his friends.  The way they'd hugged each other, and laughed…the way the water had felt on his skin that day, rushing coolly over him as his three teammates cheered him on.  _I'm doing it for that, too,_ he realized silently.  _I'm doing it because I want to find that feeling again.  Everyone working hard, pushing each other, moving toward the same goal…I want to be part of a team like that again._

_I swim for me, too._

Sometimes, that was so easy for him to forget.

"Both," he answered, surprising himself a little.  "I want it for my father, but…I also want it for myself."

Akira smiled a little: his entire face softened, when he smiled.  "Then you can do it," he said.  "Don't give it up, if it's something you want for yourself.  But if there's one piece of advice I can give you, it's this: follow your own path.  Don't force yourself to follow a path that someone else has set, if that path doesn't lead to something that _you_ want, too.  I learned that a little too late, but it's not too late for you.  Life's too short, to chase the paths of others."

Rin nodded, and they were quiet for a moment.  After a pause, Rin pulled out the photograph of his father's old team.

"This is the picture, that led me to look for you," he said quietly.  "I got it from the swim club.  My father used to have one just like it."  He held it out, so that Haru's father could see it, too.

"Wow…he really kept that, all these years," the older man murmured.  "I can't believe it."

"I was wondering if you could tell me who this is," Rin said, pointing to the man on the far left.  He was holding up his medal and smiling gently, with one arm around Akira's shoulders.  "I've found the others, but…I can't seem to find him."

Akira smiled.  "Of course," he said.  "That's Hikaru Tachibana."

 _Tachibana?_   Rin's eyes widened.  It couldn't be.

"If you'd like to talk to him, I can give you his address," Haru's father went on.  "He still lives in Iwatobi, last I heard.  I haven't talked to him in a few years, but Kazue's been in touch with him fairly often because…"  He was struck by a thought.  "You know, Hikaru has a son, called Makoto: he's your age, too.  He and Haruka were best friends: still are, as far as I know.  You know him?"

"Yeah," Rin replied softly.  "I know him."  He hesitated a moment.  "We actually all ran the relay together."

Akira let out a little laugh and shook his head.  "Such a strange world," he said.  "I can't believe it.  I don't suppose your fourth member was a Hazuki?"

"Nagisa Hazuki," Rin replied.  "His father's the one on the right."  This drew more laughter from Akira's lips.

"I can't believe it," he repeated, shaking his head with a smile.  "They say history repeats itself, but…"  He looked at Rin.  "You say you aren't really in touch with them anymore?" 

The red-haired boy shook his head.  "Not really," he murmured.  "I mean…sometimes, I see them at swim meets, but…they kind of have their own group now.  We aren't really swimming together anymore."

Akira understood what Rin meant, and he could see the longing in Rin's eyes.  "You know, just because your paths have diverged, that doesn't mean that they can't come together again," he said.  "It's all up to you.  You can choose to keep moving farther away from them, or you can choose to support each other again."  He looked a little sad again.  "I wish I had understood that, when I was your age."

Rin nodded.

"Hikaru would have kept in touch with Nori the most after graduation," Akira said, taking a small pad of paper from a drawer in the table between the chair and the couch.  He located a pen and jotted down the address from his phone's address book.  "He'd know more than me, about what your dad did after high school."

Rin took the piece of paper and held onto it tightly.  Makoto's father could be the missing link.  He would know for sure, what had happened in those intervening years.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

He bade Haru's parents goodbye shortly after that: he knew that he needed to get going if he wanted to return to Samezuka by tomorrow.  His mind was spinning the whole train ride home, buzzing with everything that Haru's father had said.  Slowly, the pieces were beginning to come together in his mind, but he still felt as though a few of them were missing.

_My father had someone to believe in him, and push him to be his best.  His entire relay team believed in him, and that was what helped make him great._

_But when I joined a relay team…everything fell apart after that.  I sucked, after that.  I worked so hard, but I still couldn't swim the way I wanted to._

_But…I left my team right after that, too._

Suddenly, Rin's entire body went cold with realization.

_We won, when we ran that relay together.  It was only after I left for Australia that I started to lose it._

_Maybe separating myself from them was what messed everything up.  Maybe if I'd stayed…_

Suddenly, tears of regret were brimming in his eyes.  _Maybe if I'd stayed, everything wouldn't have gotten so fucked up._

He pulled his feet up onto the seat and curled into his knees so that he could hide his face from the commuters on the train.  He didn't want them to see him cry.  He needed to shed his tears, for the lost years, the missed chances.  He needed to mourn the friendships he'd thrown aside so carelessly.  He'd blamed them all, for ruining him, but he was the one who'd ruined himself. 

The train kept moving beneath him, and the other passengers continued leafing through their newspapers: only in Rin's little corner of the train car had the world stopped spinning.  He felt so _stupid_.  His fists clenched against his legs as he squeezed more tears from his eyes.  _How could I have been such an idiot?  I lost the best teammates I've ever had, and now it's too late to do anything about it.  I've ruined any chance I ever had, to be like my father.  I've ruined everything for myself._

He cried for a little while more before Akira's words of advice came back to him.  _You can choose to keep moving further away from them, or you can choose to support each other again._   He wasn't sure he believed it.  He considered it for a while, using his index finger to play with the corner of his seat cushion.  Would they take him back, as part of their group?  He honestly wasn't sure.  He'd done his best to distance himself from them, believing that they were the problem: could he take that back now, or was it too late?  Did they even care anymore?  They had that new kid, they had their own team.  What would they need him for?

A few stray tears dripped from his lashes when he realized that they wouldn't.  They wouldn't need him for anything at all.

He started to cry again.  This time, he couldn't prevent his sobs from becoming audible.  He could feel a few other passengers turning to look, but he couldn't stop the shuddering whimpers that forced their way from his throat.  He was shaking a little now, utterly forlorn.

 _Who even cares about me now?_   In that moment, it seemed that there was no one.  His mental query was met only with harsh, devastating silence.

Suddenly, Nitori of all people popped into his head.  Nitori cared.  Rin's tears began to ebb when he thought about this.  He wouldn't have expected it, but somehow, knowing this made him feel better.  Nitori undoubtedly cared, although the red-haired boy couldn't begin to guess why.  He'd been a complete jerk, ignoring the younger boy most of the time, but somehow, it didn't seem to have made a difference.  Nitori cared about him, and believed in him no matter what.

_Maybe…even if I can't get my old team back, exactly the way it was…I can still get that feeling back.  I can swim the way I used to again, even if it's with a new team._

He held on to this tenuous, hopeful thought, like the string of a helium balloon.  If he let himself…he could find his team again.  It was worth a try, at least.  A few more tears dripped down his cheeks, but they were out of relief, more so than grief.

When he no longer felt so incredibly alone, he began thinking about his father again.  A different kind of regret began creeping over him.

 _But then, if he had everyone believing in him…why did he give up his dream?  It wasn't because of Haru's father: he was still swimming, after that argument.  So it really must have been me._   He didn't want to accept this as the cold hard truth, but it was the only other possibility that he could see.

He decided that he needed to find Hikaru Tachibana.  The final team member would be able to help him finish the puzzle, and really understand his father's life. He knew that once he understood his father completely...he would be able to understand everything else, too.


	4. The Orca

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rin meets Hikaru Tachibana, and finally gets to see his father's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hikaru - A unisex name meaning "radiance"

The next Saturday, Rin went back to Iwatobi, to the address Akira had given him.  Sure enough, the address corresponded to Makoto's house; Rin knew it, from when they were twelve.  Makoto's family hadn't moved in years, it seemed.  Rin purposefully chose a time when Makoto himself would be out: he'd checked with Gou, and found out that the entire Iwatobi team was getting together at Coach Sasabe's house that afternoon.  Makoto wouldn't be back for hours.

He carefully approached the door and knocked.  To his surprise, it was Makoto's father who answered it.

"Hello," Hikaru said with a friendly smile.  "Can I help you with something?"

Rin faltered momentarily.  "Um…my name is Rin, Matsuoka?"

Hikaru's eyes lit up.  "Rin, of course," he said with a soft smile.  "How could I forget?"  He opened the door a little wider.  "You'll have to forgive me, but I haven't seen you in a long time.  You've grown up quite a lot."  He paused for a moment.  "Are you looking for Makoto?," he asked gently.  "He isn't here, I'm afraid.  You just missed him."

"Actually, I was hoping I could talk to you," Rin said quickly.  "I, um…wanted to ask if you remembered anything about my father.  Minori Matsuoka?"

Hikaru's eyes grew sad for a moment.  "Of course I remember Nori," he said with a little smile.  "We knew each other very well.  Why don't you come inside?  I'll make you some tea, and we can talk."  Rin carefully stepped inside and followed him into the living room.

"Have a seat on the couch," Hikaru said.  "I'll go put the tea on and be back in a moment."  He went into the kitchen, leaving Rin alone.  Rin looked around and noticed a few pictures of Makoto and siblings on the mantle of the fireplace.  It felt awkward, sitting in Makoto's house alone.

Hikaru came back and sat down in a chair near the couch.  "So you wanted to talk about your father?," he asked with another kind smile.

Rin nodded.  "I'm just…trying to understand some things," he said quietly.  "I don't really remember much about him."  He pulled the old relay photo out of his jacket pocket.  "I know that you were part of his relay team, back when you were young," he went on.  "But…I was hoping you might have known him a little more recently, too.  I met with your other teammates, and I heard that you stayed in touch with him after your high school graduation, much more than anyone else did."

Hikaru nodded.  "Oh yes," he said.  "Nori and I stayed in touch, right up until his death."  A tiny smile appeared on his face.  "I knew you, too, when you were little.  I wouldn't expect you to remember, but you and I have met many times before."

Rin's eyes widened a little in curiosity.  "Really?," he said.  "Um…what was I like?"

Hikaru grinned.  "You were a funny little kid," he said with a fond chuckle.  "You were always coming up with some big, wacky idea.  You laughed a lot when you were in good spirits, but sometimes you went through these really moody periods, where nothing could make you smile.  Usually, it was when your father went out to sea, and didn't come back when he was supposed to.  I remember, very clearly…there was one night, when you were about two.  You thought your father was coming back, but I had to come by instead, because his ship was late getting in and your mom had to go to work.  You just laid in bed the whole night, crying to yourself, because I wasn't your dad.  Things like that…honestly, I worried, sometimes.  You were really attached to your dad."  He paused.  "In fact, I worried a lot, when your father died.  I was afraid that you would take it really hard."

Rin nodded: he didn't know how to respond.  Hikaru had been right, to be worried.  He _had_ taken it hard, and in a lot of ways, he was still trying to deal with his father's untimely death.  This search in itself was proof of that.  He couldn't remember anything about his dad, even what he'd looked like, but he could still remember the _feeling_ of his dad, and the loss of that alone was something he still struggled with.

"Anyway, as for your dad…I knew him since elementary school.  We became close while we were both on the swim team: then, Aki Nanase joined our class, and we became friends with him, too.  Your father, Aki, and I…we were pretty inseparable.  That is, until Nori and Aki had a falling-out, in our second-to-last year."  He paused.  "Did he tell you about that?"

Rin nodded.  "He said that it was because…he gave up on the Olympics."

Hikaru nodded.  "I always knew I'd never be going to the Olympics: swimming was just something I did for fun, because I liked being on the team and in the water.  But Aki and your father…they were really going to try and make a go of it.  Aki's dad really got to him, though, and pressured him to quit swimming.  Nori wouldn't talk to him after he quit the team: I tried to stay friends with both of them, but I sort of lost touch with Aki after a while.  It's hard, staying friends with two people who absolutely refuse to talk to one another."

"My dad still kept swimming after that, though, right?," Rin said.  "He didn't give it up when Nanase-san did."

"Oh no," Hikaru said.  "In fact, if anything, he seemed even more determined after that fight.  He wanted to prove Aki wrong, I think.  Show him that it really would have been possible.  Of course, I think you probably know, your dad never made it to the Olympics either.  He went to a local college for a couple of semesters, on a swimming scholarship.  That was where he met your mom.  He kept training for a few years after high school, but he never really ended up trying out for the Olympic team.  I was surprised, when he told me he was going to drop out and quit swimming completely."

"Did he ever talk about…why he gave up his dream of swimming in the Olympics?"  Rin was almost afraid to hear the answer to this question, but he had to know for sure.  If he never found out the truth…his whole search would have been for nothing.  At least, that was how it felt.

Makoto's father thought back for a moment.  "We did talk about it, once," he began.  "I had the same question: how could he just give up on it, when it had meant so much to him before?  He said that it was because of you, and your mother.  Your mother was pregnant with you at the time, and he really wanted to be able to support you."

This answer make Rin's stomach sink, and a sharp ache grow in his chest.  _I was right all along_ , he thought.  _I destroyed his dream._

"So when I was born…I'm the one who ruined everything," he murmured, looking away.  "He had to give everything up, because of me."  He hadn't thought his heart could break any more, but it was slowly being shattered again.

"He never talked about it that way," Makoto's father replied, shaking his head.  This made Rin pause, suspended between despair and confusion.  "I don't think he really felt like he was giving up much of anything, by the time he decided to quit swimming.  It didn't seem like a hard choice for him to make.  As far as I could tell, he stopped caring so much about the Olympics right around the time he fell in love with your mother.  Before that, he was all about swimming, but after they met, he brought it up less and less.  Instead, he always told me how he wanted a family with her, and after you and your sister were born, you guys were all he talked about.  He _wanted_ to give it up, I think, so that he could be a better father to you."

Rin's eyes glimmered.  "Really?," he said quietly.  He'd always assumed that it had been the other way around, that his father had been _forced_ to give up on his dreams in order to raise him.  He'd never even considered the possibility that his dad had willingly given them up, all on his own.

Makoto's father nodded.  "I think that you, and your mother, and your sister…I think that living out his life with you guys became his new dream," he said with a smile.  "He didn't plan it that way, but then again, life rarely turns out exactly according to plan, does it?"

Suddenly, Rin felt like crying.  The guilt he'd carried around for years, about being the downfall of his father's dreams…it was lifting, all at once.  He couldn't believe it.  He hadn't been the destruction of his father's dream: he'd been the _fulfillment_ , of a dream previously unimagined.  He tried his best to hold back the tears, but a few managed to leak onto his cheeks.

"You really think…that that's true?," he said as he wiped his cheeks quickly.  "You don't think…that he regretted giving up on the Olympics?"  _You don't think that he regretted me?_

Hikaru shook his head.  "I'm sure of it," he said, laying a comforting hand on Rin's shoulder.  "The Olympics were his dream when he was young, but dreams can change.  He didn't give up on his dreams: they just changed."  He paused for a moment before continuing softly.  "You know, I think that if you'd asked him about it…I think he would have said that it was an obvious choice, between swimming and you.  I don't think he regretted a single thing about the way his life turned out, but I know for a fact that he didn't regret trading his Olympic prospects for you."

Rin couldn't believe it.  He felt so much lighter now, lighter than he could ever remember feeling before.  "Do you have any pictures, of my dad?," he asked, his voice quavering.  Hikaru's face lit up in a gentle smile.

"Of course!," he said.  "I have a whole box of them, somewhere.  Some even have you in them, I think.  Let me go up to the attic and find them."  He got up and left the room, leaving Rin alone to ponder the huge revelation of his father's changed dream.  He was so overwhelmed that he let a few more tears streak down his cheeks.  He wasn't the burden.  He wasn't his father's downfall.

Maybe he didn't have to make anything up to his father after all. 

Maybe he could just swim for himself, however he wanted…live his _life_ however he wanted.  Follow his own path, and be free.

Maybe…that's what his dad would have wanted for him in the first place.

He quickly dried his tears when he heard Makoto's father coming back.  The man reappeared with a small box in his hands.  "Here," he said, sitting down with Rin.  "These are all the pictures I have with your dad."

Rin carefully lifted the lid of the box, and was stunned to see his dad's face smiling back at him.  Eyes glimmering again, he gently picked up the photograph.  It had been taken out on a dock somewhere: his mother was sitting on one of the big wooden posts, and his father was standing next to her with his arm around her shoulders.  Both of them were laughing, like someone had said something funny right before the picture was taken.  Rin's eyes widened when he noticed the little red-haired boy in his father's arms, clinging to his father's shirt and hiding his face.

"That's you," Hikaru said, pointing.  "I think you were about two."  He smiled.  "He'd just come back from an extended fishing trip, so you were pretty happy to see him again.  I don't think we got you to let go of him until we sat down for dinner."  Rin was still marveling at his father's face, the face he'd never been able to remember.  His father looked so happy, almost as happy as he had in the picture from the relay: it was that same sort of smile.

Hikaru pulled another picture from the box.  This one was a picture of Rin's father and himself, dressed in formal suits with their arms draped over each other's shoulders.  Rin's father had a huge smile on his face, like he'd just won a gold medal.  "This was from their wedding," he said fondly.  "I was his best man.  This is right after the ceremony."  Rin looked at it a moment longer before picking up another photo from the box.  This one appeared to be a child's birthday party.  Little Rin was sitting in front of a cake with three candles on it, grinning like a madman.  A little brown-haired boy was standing at his side, smiling and draping an arm around Rin's neck.

"Who's this?," Rin asked, pointing to the brown-haired boy.  He didn't remember ever having a childhood friend with brown hair.

Hikaru laughed.  "That's Makoto, of course," he replied.

"What?!?"  Rin was shocked: he'd never even remotely made the connection.  But now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense.  If their fathers had been friends…of course he and Makoto would have known each other.

"Oh yeah," Hikaru said with a smile.  "You two were great friends, up until you moved away.  You lived just a few streets over from here, until you were about four.  Then, your dad wanted to get a bigger house, for you and your sister, so he bought one that was a little further away.  You and Makoto kind of drifted apart after that, just because of the distance."

"Why didn't Makoto ever tell me?," Rin murmured.

"He probably doesn't remember it any better than you do," Hikaru replied.  "I'm sure he didn't mean to forget you, but children's memories are never very long.  When you moved away, he adopted Haru as his new best friend."

"Did I know Haru, then, too?," he asked incredulously.  He was still amazed, that he had never known.

Hikaru shook his head.  "The Nanases didn't move back here until after your family moved away.  They lived in Kyoto for a while after Aki graduated from university, but they came back to take care of his mother.  Haru and Makoto first met when they were around five."

"Hm."  It was odd, to think that he and Makoto might have grown up best friends.  Everything would have been so different.

"It was shortly before your dad died," Hikaru continued.  "I remember, because I thought of asking Aki to come to the funeral.  I never did, though, because there was so much bad blood between them.  I wasn't sure he'd care, so I didn't ever tell him about it."  He looked a little embarrassed.  "Honestly, I was a little afraid to bring up Nori around him.  He always got so angry when I mentioned Nori in high school.  I didn't want to cause a fight, especially since Makoto and Haru were so close."  To change the subject, he picked another photo out of the box.  "Look, here's one of you at our house."  Sure enough, little Rin was chasing Makoto through the foreground of the picture, while Rin's parents and Makoto's mom looked on with fond smiles and laughing eyes.  The picture seemed to have been taken in the very room that the two of them were sitting in now.  "This was our housewarming party, when we first moved in," Hikaru explained.  "It was supposed to be a shot of us in the new house, but you two ran through just as I was taking the picture."  Rin smirked a little at the look on Makoto's face; he looked slightly scared, like he was about to be attacked.  Little Rin was laughing devilishly behind him.

He glanced into the box, and the next photo he saw hit him right in the chest.  He nearly burst into tears as he reached out to touch it.  It was a close shot of him and his father: his father was holding him again, squeezing little Rin into his chest like he never wanted to let go.  His face radiated love, as he treasured the feeling of the little boy in his arms.  Little Rin was smiling, too, as he wrapped his arms around his father's neck and hugged him tight.  From the contented look on his face, he loved being held by his father more than anything else in the world.  Rin picked it up and tried desperately not to cry.  He wished he could remember this moment.

"I don't remember when I took this one," Hikaru said softly.  "It looks like you were about three or four at the time.  Maybe this was after another one of your father's trips."  He gasped.  "Oh!  Now I remember!," he said.  "It was your fourth birthday.  We weren't expecting him to show up, but he came home early as a birthday surprise."  He smiled.  "I don't know how I could have forgotten.  It was so sweet, how your face just lit up when he walked through the door.  You were in the middle of opening presents, but you just dropped everything, ran right over to him and jumped into his arms."

Rin couldn't stop looking at this picture.  It was obvious, now, how much his father had loved him.  How much his father had wanted him.  In none of these pictures could he see a trace of regret about giving up the Olympic gold.  All he saw was happiness.

"Can I keep this?," he asked softly, tears brimming in his eyes.  "I don't really h-have any pictures of him, besides the one from the relay."

"Of course!," Hikaru said gently, laying his hand on Rin's shoulder again.  "You're welcome to have it."  Rin gazed at it a little longer before setting it carefully aside.

They looked through the pictures together for quite a while.  Hikaru seemed to have an excellent memory, offering anecdote after anecdote about the photos Rin pulled out of the box.  Rin was sad, when they finally reached the end.  He'd enjoyed spending time with the pictures, reminiscing vicariously through Hikaru's memories.  As they began putting the photos back in the box, Rin was struck by a question.  Hikaru had so many photos of his parents, and seemed to have been there for all of the important moments in Rin's early life.  Why hadn't Rin known, that the two of them knew each other?

"How come I don't remember you?," the red-haired boy asked quietly.  "It seems like…you were there, for a lot of the time.  Like you were close with my parents."

Hikaru nodded.  "I was," he said.  "I was at your dad's funeral, too.  We were great friends, and it really hurt, when we lost him in that typhoon.  But after that…your mom and I didn't keep in touch.  Nori was really the only thing we'd had in common, and after he died…we didn't have much reason to see each other.  All we did was remind each other of him.  I offered to help her out after the funeral, of course, but…she never took me up on it.  I think it was just too painful for her."

Rin nodded: he could understand that.

"How is she doing, anyway?," Hikaru asked.  "Still getting along all right?"

Rin nodded.  "Yeah, she's doing ok," he said.  He heard a clock chime faintly in the other room, and he was surprised to hear that it was already six o'clock.  He hadn't even realized it, but he'd been looking at the pictures with Hikaru for hours.  Just like that, the entire afternoon had flown by. 

"I should probably get going," he said quietly.  "I've taken up enough of your time."

Hikaru smiled.  "You sure you don't want to stay for dinner?," he asked.  "Makoto might be home."

Rin shook his head.  He couldn't let Makoto find him here.  It would be too weird.  "That's ok.  Thanks for showing me all those pictures."

Hikaru nodded.  "No problem," he said.  "It was kind of nice, going through them again.  If you ever want to talk about anything…you can always come by.  Even if you just want to see the photos again, all you have to do is ask.  They're as much yours as they are mine."

Rin smiled a little.  "Thanks," he murmured.

On his way home, he pulled out the picture of him and his dad again.  Seeing it made him smile instinctively.  It was such a nice reminder, to know that he was loved.  He'd always been loved; he just hadn't realized, hadn't remembered.  Now, he could always remember.  He tucked it away again, placing safely in the inner pocket of his coat.  He could feel it there, right above his heart.

His father wouldn't want him to feel guilty anymore.  He'd only want him to be happy.

This was something he knew now, more than anything in the world.


	5. Epilogue: The Shark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rin finally understands his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minori - A unisex name meaning "truth"

He left the Tachibana house with a new understanding, a new calmness in his soul.  He knew, now, what he needed to do.  He had a new direction: his thoughts were clear, no longer muddled by confusion and uncertainty.

He knew exactly where he wanted to go now.

The wind was always blowing, up on the mountainside where his father was buried.  There was a certain sense of peace there, a soft silence that was complimented by the distant sound of the sea.  As Rin wound his way through the weeds, he felt that peace more clearly than he'd ever felt it before.

Finally, he reached the proud stone monument that bore his father's name.  He stood in front of it for a moment, gazing at it as the wind blew through his hair.  Finally, he sat down, folding his legs beneath him.  There were two photos in his pocket this time.

"I think I get it now, Dad," he said softly.  "I know what you'd want me to do.  I know how to fix everything, and I'm going to do it.  Not just for you, either. For _me_ , because _I_ want to."

He believed that the Olympics could still happen, if he continued to work hard and found a team that truly supported him.  But getting to the Olympics wasn't his primary goal anymore.  He just wanted to swim…for the team.  For that experience, for that feeling of perfect belonging.  For the feeling of swimming with people who loved him.  _This_ was how he could truly share his father's dream. Of course, he wanted the Olympics to happen, too, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if they didn't.  He wouldn't be letting his father down if he never won a gold medal.  As long as he had friends to support him…it didn't matter what he did.  That was the truth that his father had known: it wasn't what you achieved that mattered.  It was the people you achieved it with, the people who pushed you to be your best and supported you: they were what mattered.  That was the key, that secret something Rin had been missing.  It was the secret that his father had tried to tell him long ago, by guiding him to Iwatobi: now, for the first time, the red-haired boy could truly understand its meaning.

He'd had a team, but he'd lost it: now, it was up to him to begin rebuilding it again.  That, he now believed, was what his father would want him to do.  And he wasn't just doing it for his father's sake, either: he knew, without a doubt, that this was his own dream, too.

And he knew exactly who he wanted to be on that team.

He had his new teammates, too, of course.  Nitori.  The Samezuka captain.  He was sure that there would be more, if he opened himself up to the possibility.  But right now, there were three people in particular that he really wanted to swim with again, if only for a moment.

It was fate, in his mind.  Fate had brought the four of them together, made their paths cross again and again, even before they were born.  Fate had twined their stories together, to the point where there could be no separation.  They were meant to be a part of each others' lives.  Perhaps it would never be like that time when they were twelve, but they would never be completely torn apart.  Rin found some comfort in that.  They might not go back to being that close and that connected, but he'd never lose them completely.  They'd always occupy a special place in each others' hearts, and with a little work, their relationship could be mended again.

"It was destiny, wasn't it?," he said quietly.  "You brought me to Iwatobi, all those years ago.  You knew, didn't you?"  A breeze caressed his face, ruffling his hair and pushing it gently back.  He closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel it for a moment.  It smelled like the sea, fresh and clean.  He reached out and gently touched his fist to his dad's gravestone.  He could almost feel his father's hand, touching him back.

 _Well, watch me now, Dad_ , he thought with a little smile.

_Watch me now._


End file.
